This Foster Care Fortnight, we want to shine a light on some of the foster carers who are changing the lives of Dorset’s children and young people.
Why they foster, what made them start, the rewards, the challenges and why others should consider fostering with us.
Meet Helena
Helena Sellers and her husband Graham live in East Dorset and have been fostering with Dorset Council for six years. They have three adult birth children, two of which live in the family home.
After her children reached adulthood, Helena felt she had more to give when it came to being a mum and wanted to give other children the opportunity of a happy home and family life.
Helena is now a Hub Home carer for Dorset’s first Mockingbird constellation that launched last year – supporting nine families and twelve foster children.
What gave you the push to start your fostering journey?
“I was working in a school and witnessed a young girl being dropped off with suitcases. She explained that her grandparents couldn’t look after her anymore and she was going into care. She was upset and very uncertain about where she’d be going to next. She felt unwanted.
“That very night I went home and discussed the possibility of fostering with my husband. I wanted to stop another child going through a painful or uncertain experience like that. I felt we could help by offering a secure and loving home to other children that needed it.”
What has been the most challenging thing about fostering?
“Seeing the children become upset and dysregulated is tough. Sometimes the children have experienced trauma, which sets a precedent for what they’ve come to expect from the world.
“When you feel you’ve hit your limit on what you can do for them it can feel like you’re failing. But experience over time and training has taught me how to handle these situations and how best to support and nurture them.”
What has been the most rewarding thing about fostering?
“Watching the children laugh, smile and be happy. And seeing them learn to trust you.”
How have you found the Mockingbird model? What are the benefits?
“The Mockingbird constellation works incredibly well, and we all consider ourselves to be one extended family! The model aims to stop placements breaking down and it builds an extended support network for foster families.
“We all support each other, and the children get the experience of a big family set-up. Mockingbird has also given them a chance to meet other young people who understand what they’ve been through.”
How does your family feel about you fostering?
“My family is incredibly supportive, and they include the children fully in our family life. I have a seven-year-old granddaughter, who is very caring, and she now plays a big part in making new children feel welcome.
“For Easter we held a big family dinner, and everyone was included. Fostering is an all-family thing for us.”
What would you say to someone considering becoming a foster carer?
“It can be full-on, but the rewards and benefits are indescribable and outweigh the challenging times. Watching a child flourish and grow is amazing.”
What skills or personality traits would you say are useful for a foster carer to have?
“You need patience. You must be willing to accept the children as they are and realise they have needs that haven’t been met before. You don’t just welcome them into your home, you welcome them fully into your heart and family life.”
Could you foster with Dorset Council?
Dorset children need more foster carers, and we are looking for foster carers from all walks of life to meet this need. Our aim is to keep Dorset’s children and young people within the county they call home, close to their friends, schools, and birth families.
Join us on Thursday 25 May at the Dorset Museum, Dorchester, to find out more about fostering with Dorset Council. The fostering team will be on-hand to answer your questions and existing foster carers will be there to share their experiences. The drop-in event will run from 2-6pm and those who attend the event will have the opportunity to gain free access to the museum.
To find out more about fostering with Dorset Council, or to submit an enquiry, head to www.fosterwithdorsetcouncil.com
