My troupe have taken to calling themselves the quintuplets. Considering my five little ones consist of two sets of fostered siblings and my youngest home-made child.
It’s quite uncanny that four of them look very alike. No one questions whether they’re all mine or not, but often people give me that ‘good God, she overdosed on the fertility pills’ look.
Today sibling set of the female variety have managed to scare my sibling set of the feline variety into a quivering heap of fur and whiskers and sibling set of the male variety have discovered the rude word and are trying it out in a variety of settings.
All of them, including my home-made children are wearing those over-sized hoodie things almost covering their entire faces. Anyone entering my home might think I’ve set up a weird religious cult.
The girl siblings couldn’t be more different from each other. One is quiet and anxious, the other resembles a talking hurricane compacted into the tiniest little frame.
The girls are two of twelve, and if I had the space both mentally and physically and I knew my husband wouldn’t end up moving into the playhouse (I hope my supervising social worker doesn’t read this) I would have a few more.
My boys. Again, so very different from each other. One sporty and feisty and the other quiet and seeks out human company on his terms. They hate being without each other for very long, and as with both sets of siblings, one always seems to take on a parenting role with the other. Quite a common feature with children who have suffered neglect.
My husband and I came into fostering in the hope we could keep siblings together. Can you imagine not only leaving your family but leaving your brothers and sisters too? Unfortunately, many of our young people come from big families and it’s a huge task finding a family who can foster them all.
On a daily basis, one sibling will probably try to sell the other one for a yearly subscription to Xbox, in fact, one went a little further and wanted to exchange his brother for a dog, but deep down we have no regrets keeping both sets together.
I believe they settled easier because they had each other and although the impact of their trauma was intense, they help pull each other through.
Siblings contacts make my life a little hectic with many of the siblings split across different families and don’t get me started on how many birthdays I need to remember. But it’s so worth it to keep that bond, especially if they may live back with each other at some point.
If you are thinking about fostering and have room in your life for more than one child, please think about keeping siblings together. Sometimes it isn’t the right thing for them, but more often than not, it makes foster care an easier place for them to be in.
I will leave you with that thought while I go check that my lot haven’t recreated World War Two. It’s quiet but they could be in their trenches waiting to attack.
Register an interest in fostering with Dorset Council
There are truly angels on this planet – you and your partner are such an inspiration. Much love.